my younger self bowed her head to the spirit
reflecting what purpose it served
dependence on an intangible power
fearing loss of all that I thought mattered
wishing for exhilaration of love
recounting failures
not comprehending acceptance
sitting cross legged, my older self opens a notebook of thoughts
before starting to scribble and I motivate my own monologue
i remind myself that purpose of prayer is itself
prayer defines the limits to your ego
and the battle lines of the wars with oneself
insists on a balance that is essential to love
lights up your hemispheres and erases borders
the earlier smaller me looks up
gives up herself
into my now larger self
I start to catalog the differences
between the flaws
of my earlier smaller spectrum
and my later bigger lens
of prayer and it’s power
and my own vulnerability
NaPoWriMo 2018
small and the big
